Crystal Garden
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“They offered us some pills.” Sunny rose to his feet after quite an effort. His knees were wet with snow, and he didn’t even shake it off. “I couldn’t say no,” he said quietly and turned to walk away.
I sat and considered his words for a while, then I rose and went after him. “Sunny, you …” I started to say, but couldn’t finish.
He stopped and slowly turned around. I can still see his face with the look of despair, hopelessness and fear.
“I’m an addict, Walter.” His voice broke, then he turned and ran.
I ran after him, but soon fell behind. I didn’t really want to catch up with him. I wanted to wake up. I wanted this conversation to have never happened. I wanted last summer to have never happened too. I thought my world had collapsed. How wrong I was! My world would collapse a bit later.
For a while, everything was as before. Once again, we played “shooters” and “strategies” on the internet, we hung around and played football in the backyard. We barely spoke about his addiction. From time to time, Sunny would say he wanted to quit, but didn’t know where to start. He didn’t know whom to speak to or how to ask for help. He was afraid that if people at school found out, there would be a huge scandal. At best, he would be kicked out and sent to rehab, and this would be a disgrace to his whole family and to our school as well. His parents, as ill-luck would have it, were too busy with their own problems. Out of the blue, they decided that after 15 years of marriage, they were getting a divorce. In their minds, their son was now more or less grown up, and they wanted a second youth. So, Sunny felt almost alone in his fight, and I could not give him the support he needed. After all, I was only 15. I had no idea what to do. We just kept on pretending that nothing was wrong.
3
One day after school, Sunny came up to me. His cheeks were red, his eyes glistened, and his pupils were wildly dilated.
“Come with me,” he whispered. His voice was hoarse.
“Where to?” For some reason, I also spoke in a whisper.
“A dude is having a party.” He moved very close to me. “I want you to meet my friends.”
“Friends?” I said as I tried to step back from him. I didn’t like my personal space violated, even by him.
“You don’t know them,” he replied as he moved closer, “but they are awesome.”
I took another step back and felt the wall behind me. There was no escape. Sunny was waiting for an answer. His breath was heavy and hot, almost like he had a fever. I didn’t want to go with him, but I reluctantly agreed.
He took me to the other side of the town. He knew the area well and had no trouble finding his way along the streets lined with dozens of identical apartment buildings. We went into one of them and took the lift to the fifth floor. The corridors were bright and clean, with potted flowers on windowsills. This was not how I’d pictured a drug dealer’s hang-out to look. Sunny knocked on one of the doors. A moment later we heard hurried footsteps, and as the lock clicked, a guy appeared in the doorway. He was wearing jeans with a half-buttoned shirt, and his hair was a mess. In short, he looked like a completely ordinary teenager.
“Hey, duuude,” drawled the guy, smiling from ear to ear and patting Sunny on the shoulder.
“This is Walter,” Sunny said to introduce me.
The guy nodded and closed the door. Meanwhile, Sunny took off his jacket and walked into the living room. I hesitated a bit in the hallway. I looked at my reflection in the huge mirror that hung on the wall. I was regretting my decision to come here, and it was written on my face. My pupils we almost like Sunny’s, except I was not stoned.
The apartment clearly belonged to rich people. In the beautiful, expensively furnished living room were several teenagers. Two more guys and three girls. They were about my age and well-dressed. These were the sort of teens that would usually be referred to as “gilded youth”; children of rich parents who have everything but have no idea how to entertain themselves. Oh, Sunny, how did you get here? We did not belong in this circle. We weren’t bought expensive cars and apartments in the city for our birthdays.
They were happy to see Sunny. The girls immediately fell around his neck. I felt a twinge of jealousy. After Sunny finished his welcome hugs and kisses, he remembered that I was still standing beside him. He began to introduce me, but I didn’t even try to remember their names. I already hated them. I envied them. I could barely save enough money to buy a motorbike, and they had everything. Of course, Sunny wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to be part of this society. Was it good for him? No. On the other hand, I wasn’t much of a friend either, if he preferred this company to mine.
They were drinking cocktails, smoking, laughing, discussing recent parties, and planning holidays amongst other stuff. I just sat there and watched. I had nothing to say to them, even if I wanted to. I saw them getting drunk and I felt disgusted. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. I was dizzy from the cigarette smoke.
I must have dozed off, as I was brought back to consciousness by a scream. The scream came from one of the girls. She was writhing in hysterics and one of the guys was holding her and trying to shut her mouth. She was pointing at the other girl who was slowly slipping off the couch until she was standing with one knee on the floor and was holding on to the coffee table. She was incredibly pale and seemed to be suffocating. Sunny was gently supporting her. He slowly and carefully laid the girl on the floor. She was shivering, but I wasn’t certain if she was still conscious. She stared in front of her, but seemed to see nothing. Another guy felt her pulse. I rushed to them, but the third guy pushed me aside. He had some kind of syringe in his hand. Sunny rose to his feet, gave way to the guy and grabbed me by the elbow. He was pulling me to the door.
“Come, we should leave,” he said. “They know what to do. Come. Nobody should see us here.”
Sunny slipped my jacket over my shoulders and practically pushed me out of the door. I was trying to resist and couldn’t take my eyes off what was happening in the living room. Everyone was crowded around the girl, and as I glanced back, I saw a pale hand on the green carpet. It appeared to be completely lifeless.
4
The next day, Sunny didn’t show up at school, so I decided to leave before the end of my classes and go to his house. Sunny opened the door almost immediately. He looked ill and exhausted, barefoot, shirtless, and was wearing old sweat pants. He looked around, as if to check that I hadn’t been followed, then let me in. Without a word, he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I took off my jacket and went after him. Sunny picked up the remote control and began to channel surf. He seemed scared, concerned, perhaps even desperate. He was tapping his fingers on the back of the couch and biting his lower lip.
“Are you alone?” I asked. He nodded nervously, still staring at the TV screen. I stood between him and the TV. He leaned to the side to see what was happening on the screen. It was more of a mechanical move than a sign of real interest.
“What happened to her?” I asked. He slowly raised his head, looked at me and bit his lip as if pondering what to say.
“She’s in intensive care,” he said finally.
“Will she survive?” I asked.
“Gosh, I don’t know, Walter!” He threw the TV remote and rose from the couch. “If they find out that we were there, we’ll have a big problem.” He began to pace the room.
“You’re worried about us?” I asked after a short pause.
“Of course!” he replied, his voice full of despair. “And you’re not?”
“That girl almost died right in front of your eyes, and your biggest concern is that someone might find out we were there?” I was frustrated. I still couldn’t shake the image of her motionless hand from my mind.
“To hell with her, she’s a stupid… uh,” Sunny waved his hand.
“What’s wrong with you?” I went up to him, grabbed him by the shoulders and began to shake. “Who are you, and where is Sunny? Huh?”