Shake the old. A play for 5 people. Comedy in two acts
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Vedana (with interest). Well, hello.
Nyura (with interest). Hello.
Agnes (with interest). And good health to you.
Methodius (with a sly smile, to the old ladies). And what, girls, is there a place for a real kid among such beauties?
The grandmothers are embarrassed, they are bursting, they smooth their hair. Each seeks to move closer so that he sits next to her.
The old man with a comically blunted gait in a few steps, "squirming" and making faces, sincerely enjoying all this, theatrically sits down on the chosen place between Nyura and Vedana.
There is an awkward pause, everyone is thinking where to start a conversation.
Methodius (loudly, unexpectedly, so that the grannies shudder). Yes! (The old ladies shudder). I didn't introduce myself! (Parading Carlson). Come on, let's get married. They call me Methodius. Well, and you, the charmers?
Friends are embarrassed, flirtatious.
Vedana (with a sly smile). I am Vedana!
Methodius (politely, kindly). It's very nice.
Nyura (in a simple way). I'm Nyura.
Methodius (politely, kindly). Let's get acquainted.
Agnes (gently waving her pen). And I'm Agnes!
Methodius (politely, kindly). I am heartily glad!
Nyura (feigning indignation, Methodius). So! (Indignantly slaps himself on the knee.) Just appeared, and you are already bringing disunity into our friendly ranks!
Methodius (with cautious interest). What am I?
Nyura (played indignantly, Methodius). Who else?
Methodius (with cautious interest, feigned). What have I done to you, O beautiful one?
Nyura (played indignantly, Methodius). Well, how? So, it was very nice to meet Vedana! You see, you are heartily glad to Agnes! And he just answered me – let's get acquainted. What are you, a tattered lovelace, aren't you glad to see me?
Methodius (with a cautious attack). How can I not be glad? Where did I sit down?
Nyura (played indignantly, Methodius). Where to?
Methodius (with a cautious attack). Take off your charming eyes, and take a closer look. If I wasn't happy, I wouldn't be sitting next to you. And if I sat down, then I'm glad!
Vedana (with a joyful sly smile). It turns out I'm glad too!
Agnes (feigning sadness). And it turns out I'm not happy?
Methodius (twisting out, to Agnes). Im (Pointing to Nyura and Vedana.) I'm just glad! And you, gorgeous, I'm glad to heartily! (Sighs.) Fuf …
friends, generally satisfied with the answer, nod with understanding.
Methodius got out of it. He is pleased with himself, glances furtively at one, then at another, then at a third passion. Babonki are embarrassed. They look away. Grandfather, the prankster is still that. Winks, plays along with facial expressions, which further embarrasses her friends.
Nyura can't stand it, her rebellious nature rushes into battle again.
Nyura (indignantly, to Methodius). So! Stop shooting eyes here. Better tell me, dear man, why did you fall on our heads like that. You haven't been here before, have you?
Methodius (complacently). It wasn't, that's right. Now, therefore, there is!
Vedana (insistently, to Methodius). Uh, you don't shirk the topic! From where did you come to us, sokolik? Please give an exhaustive explanation, in all its form! Strictly speaking, so to speak!
Agnes (nodding to her friend).
Methodius glares at the grannies, rises with a sly smile, stands at attention, reports.
Methodius (reports). Kondratyukov Methodius Pankratievich. A native of the Saratov region, but for a long time already in fact a man of the world. I have visited many places, lived many places, changed many professions. Now the official status is retired. I won't tell you the year of birth!
She shows her tongue to her listening friends, teases!
Nyura (snorts in disappointment). Phew… So what did you just say?
Methodius (sitting down in his usual place). Of course I understand. The bowler hat, ugh, ugh (knocks on his head so as not to jinx it) is working.
Vedana (with a tease, Methodius). Is it working? Exactly?
Methodius (positively, confidently, Vedane). Do not hesitate, precious! And the kettle is whistling, and there is still gunpowder in the powder flasks, and in general I am still very much in general!
Agnes (looking skeptically at her friends). My mom used to say: God did not give a cheerful cow horns! (Withstands a tactful pause, averts an unconstrained gaze). I remembered something.
The friends smile softly, turn away. Grandfather also understands what it's about.
Methodius (thoughtfully, with a philosophical bias). No, actually, it's not that, (Grandfather thinks). But… to some extent… However ....
Methodius abruptly changes the subject.
Methodius (positively, cheerfully). So, well! It would not be a sin to bite for acquaintance, so that's the problem… I don't drink. What are we going to do, chickens?
Nyura (with a dig). Who has a bowler hat whistling here? He called himself a gruzd, and think for yourself…, cockerel!
Friends giggle.
Methodius (skeptically, understanding sarcasm). A… ha…
Agnes (Methodius). And, by the way, it's Nyura's birthday today!
Methodius (admiringly). What are you? Yeshki – matryoshka dolls, and you were silent? Well, that's it!
Methodius gets up from his seat.
Methodius (cheerfully, resolutely). Sit here, don't go anywhere, I'm coming soon!
Methodius leaves, leaving his friends in mixed feelings.
Vedana (with interest). Where is he going?