My city 2: The terrifying history Zhalovskoy, or the Spider
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– We do not know why in life occurs. We will never understand it. – then she offered. – Let's talk about something another?
The stranger answered.
– I cannot speak about something another now. – then he added as if reproaching the woman with something. – I just saw off the wife, and hardly I will see her again. I tell you about my grief here, I confess before you, before absolutely unfamiliar woman. And YOU? – it having waved away added. – I understand, it is hard for you to listen to me, but listen, I ask you.
Nina told nothing. She understood that this person needs to unburden the heart, and she told.
– Excuse that I did not understand you. I thought, having given the conversation another turn you will cease though for a while to remember sad. Well, if it is easier for you, I am ready to listen to you. – then she added. – To tell foreign person about the grieves. – then she added. – I know it as nobody.
The man of nothing told. He just was silent. Looking at this woman, he understood that in vain he told: – I just saw off the wife, and hardly I will see her again. I tell you about my grief here, I confess before you before absolutely unfamiliar woman. And YOU? – it he had no right to speak. You never know who has what problems? It is possible to share them, but who will listen to them? Perhaps will listen to them, but whether will understand heard or to turn a deaf ear? Who knows? Who knows? The man carefully told.
– I understand that I the history could not eat up to you, but who knows how to me now at heart it is heavy. – he made a pause, then added. – Understand! I can any more never I will see Veronika! Maybe this flying away was the last in her life, and back it will not return any more.
Nina told nothing. And there was nothing to speak that. The man could not tell something that could transfer a conversation to other subject. He would like to make it, but could not. He could not think of anything except one now, his Veronika back will return to him or not. Cancer will make the business, will finish the work, and will kill this beautiful creature, his wife, his Veronika.
Nina answered only in a word.
– I understand. – she really understood it. It is difficult to lose somebody in the life. Especially it is difficult, is not present terribly, to lose the relative. At present sister. Where it now? What expects it there, abroad? She did not know it. She considered, everything is predetermined in this life. What will be, that not to pass. At everyone the destiny in this life, and there has to pass a person it, without any help: – All in this world what we got used to consider for the benefit. – she told. – It is necessary to pay for everything.
The stranger was indignant.
– To pay! Yes for what?
Nina heaved a deep sigh, and then said.
– For happiness. – hard she told. – Too it is necessary to pay for happiness. If not during lifetime, then after death.
– What do you want to tell these?
Nina tried to explain.
– Once and to all people the destiny gives you this or that happiness. But the destiny is cruel. Seeing as the person enjoys life it simply takes away from him happiness, tests the person, and gathers at it the most expensive, the most valuable in his life.
– Do you consider what me is tested by destiny?
– Perhaps. – assumed Nin, and asked. – What do you do in life?
– I am a businessman.
– Businessman. – said Nin in low tones. – Here you see, you the businessman. Obviously you do not know financial problems. Do you consider that everything in life can be bought for money? Even health. – she made a pause, then added. – Here you see, you are mistaken everything can be bought for money, especially health.
– You are right. – the stranger agreed with it. – Not everything can be bought for money. – he made a pause, and thoughtfully added. – now I understand it.
Yes, he this understood. Understood as well as possible what when that was. For all life it never helped anybody, on the contrary, he looked with contempt at those who had any disease. He did not notice these people, simply for him they just did not exist.
Now, having learned that his wife Veronika is sick with an incurable disease under the name cancer, he paid attention to those whom always despised. From which always avoided. He recognized these people, and those were such as he wanted to imagine them. Some of them were educated people. Happy-go-lucky he became a disabled person. Having lost hearing, a voice, having become the deaf-mute. Some were ill since the childhood. This many diseases, for example, same leukosis or in a different way cancer. Cancer scourge society. From it there is no rescue as well as from AIDS. From them all turned away. Nobody communicates with them. They are derelicts of society. They freak of nature.
But whether so it? I will not agree with it. They are the same people, as well as we. Can much better us, healthy people. Lyudey-poddonkov, got used to consider that they are right in everything. Even in about what they do not know. However not to me to judge them. Let they will take out to themselves definition who are they such is actually? People, or their similarity? Similarity of the people considering themselves just members of society. And can do it their mask. A mask under which to be designated the swine, the hypocrite, a poddonok and just indifferent person. Indifference to others misfortune, one of mortal sins God-given to Moisey on the mountain Blue.
– Life, interesting piece. – the stranger told. – Somebody does not know what she will prepare for us in following minute? What test wait for us in life?.
Nina was silent. She understood that to the man now, at present it is necessary to be uttered. To unburden the heart. To remove a stone from soul.
The man continued.
… – All life, this an instant. Time, and here it, villain death. Waits for us on a porch of the house or at work, and can on the way? Where we will finish life nobody knows. We go along the long road of the steppe. We enter the wood, we make the way through a bush. Then, if carries, we come to the road, and having again passed on it, we will come across an obstacle. Deep ravine of a bottomless abyss. To pass there is no opportunity. There is no bridge, and to jump? – he made a pause. – It too lengths to make it. Of course, it is possible to bypass it, but who knows where to go and whether in general there is a transition? However, all this is known by you and without me. – it continued. – You look at other coast of a ravine, this bottomless abyss, the person at last realizes that here now, at this moment he should make a choice. It has to turn and come back to an initial point, there, from where everything began or to risk and jump on other coast of this ravine, there, where life is better, than here. – he made a long long pause, and with regret told. – Unfortunately I could not jump on other coast of this ravine, I was afraid, and here result. – It having again made a long pause, added. – My Veronika dies.
Nina listened carefully to the stranger. He opened before it the soul, confessed before the unfamiliar woman as people familiar to it just did not want to listen to it. To listen to the friend's confession, they refused. However, me to judge them. People could never understand, the grief of one person, pok0a the same grief will not be knocked at their door.
Nina asked.
– Did not you jump over this ravine?
That hard answered.
– Could not.
Without knowing how farther to be, whether to continue this conversation or not? Nina saw that this person regrets for something. The ravine is a metaphor which always does not foretell anything good. Each person something is afraid in the life. The fear is an integral part of human nature, its psychology. Nobody knows from where the fear undertakes? What is it? Peculiar protection of a human brain? The brain giving us adrenaline of adventures and the blocked subconscious fear, sense of danger? What eventually results in euphoria, without obsessed thirst of danger. So far the brain does not realize that this euphoria will result the person, and him in madness to self-damage, and at the very same time it issues information, sense of danger, and developing from it into sensation of fear. The person wants to make, this or that, and something disturbs him. He wants to look back, look what is there, behind his back? What frightens him so strongly that he cannot even move? He wants to turn back, but cannot. Cannot because something frightens him, something frightens him? Does not allow to look back. On his body the midges run. The body for a second clenches, and heart fades. The person costs as driven. Something keeps him from this or any other action. He costs as driven, cannot move. Then, at some point, the fear leaves, but parcels to it remain. This as the alarm button if to include it, then everything simply saving the lives to rush on the street. Creating panic,