The Case of the Missing Secretary
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“Humor me.”
He shrugged. “His name is E. G. Deverell.” He gave her the address. She jotted it down and stuck the pad back into her purse. Now she had something concrete to go on. She felt like a real detective.
“You can’t really like following people around for a living,” he said. He glanced at her and back at the road. “I’ve bought a new computer for the office. It’s got a sixty megabyte hard drive and all sorts of software, including a user-friendly word processing program. I bought a laser printer, too,” he added. “And the system does forms.”
She’d been begging for that sort of system for over a year. He’d argued that it wasn’t necessary and he had better ways to spend his money.
“How nice,” she said. “For your new secretary. Secretaries, that is,” she added with a spiteful smile. “Three, isn’t it?”
He made a rough sound under his breath. “I don’t see what your problem is!” he raged. “I’ve lost my temper with you before. You never walked out on me!”
“You never allowed one of your women to treat me like an indentured servant before,” she countered.
He shifted uncomfortably. “She asked for a cup of coffee.”
“Excuse me,” she said. “She demanded a cup of coffee, and then threw it at me because it was too strong. When I suggested that she might like to go to the restaurant on the first floor and get a cup there, she flew into a rage and called me several names that I won’t repeat. Then, the minute she saw you coming, she dissolved into helpless tears.”
“She said you threw the coffee at her,” he returned, narrowing one eye. “And you aren’t the most even-tempered of women.”
“Oh, but I am, as long as I’m not within half a mile of you,” she replied venomously.
He had to stifle a smile at the way she was looking at him. How he’d missed these bouts with Kit. The three women he’d had to hire to replace her were frightened of him. Poor Melody was hopelessly intimidated by spelling and her distant cousin Logan. She could type very quickly, though, and she was efficient.
Harriet, the tallest of the three, could file and do payroll accounts, but she hated everyone in the office and smoked like a chimney.
Then there was Margo, who spelled like a dictionary and wanted nothing more than to seduce him.
Logan, though, had eyes for no one except Betsy, who made his blood run hot and wild through his veins. He didn’t want to get married, but it was the only way he was ever going to possess the delectable Betsy. So he’d given in, against his better judgment, and nothing had gone right in his life since he’d proposed. He was no nearer to coaxing Betsy into his bed and he’d lost Kit. Amazing, he thought, how empty the world was without Kit in it. He had no one to talk to anymore. Betsy hardly listened to him, and certainly paid more attention to where they went and who they saw than what they did.
“Betsy was no threat to your job,” he told her. “I don’t combine my personal relationships with my business ones. I thought you knew that.”
She knew that he was going to marry Betsy, and she couldn’t bear it. Not only was she losing the only man she’d ever loved, but she was losing him to a woman who’d cut his heart out and roast it over a pile of blazing hundred-dollar bills. Betsy would take him for every cent he had. She glanced over at him curiously. How, she wondered, could a man with a brain such as his be so terminally stupid when it came to women?
“You aren’t going to be happy working in a detective agency,” he persisted.
“But I am,” she corrected. She smiled smugly. “I’m treated like a person there. When I do something right, I get praised for it. When I do something wrong,” she added with a meaningful look, “nobody rages at me in disgusting language and threatens to feed me my handbag.”
“How boring.”
She smothered a laugh and looked away.
“You miss me, damn you,” he murmured, smiling at her averted face. “Our daily battles kept you going when nothing else did. You loved trying to get one up on me. Remember the day the Brazilian businessmen came to the office and you spent thirty minutes trying to speak Spanish to them?”
“You told me they spoke it.”
“You should have known that the national language of Brazil is Portuguese. Anyway, you got even.”
“Indeed I did,” she recalled with a grin. “I borrowed one of the girls from the secretarial pool who spoke no English and sent her in to take dictation from you while I took a two-hour lunch break.”
“I almost broke your neck,” he said shortly. “She sat there and nodded and smiled at me for thirty minutes before I realized that she didn’t understand a word I said.”
“The girls in the next office did.” She chuckled. “They said you were very eloquent. In fact, one of them wanted to have you arrested.”
“The good old days,” he said wistfully. He glared at her. “Now I have two helpers who get down on their knees and thank God when I leave the office, and a third who spends her life trying to bend me back over my own desk.”
“Oh, my,” she said.
“You might pretend to be sympathetic. It’s uncomfortable to work in that kind of environment.”
“Now you know how women feel,” she replied.
He glared at her. “I don’t recall ever chasing you around the office or trying to bend you over a desk!”
More’s the pity, she wanted to say. But she only replied, “No, sir, you never did.”
“Do you know, I’ve actually thought about reporting her for harassment?”
“If she makes you that uncomfortable, why not just fire her?”
“Because she can spell, Morris.” He exploded. “She can spell! That’s something neither of the others can do!”