Under my boss' table
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But the reality was completely different. He really did grab me by the shoulders, but only to stop me, and his words were lost like the sound of a broken heart:
“What are you doing? Stop! I'm married and I'm not interested in you at all!”
These words were like an ice shower, from which I instantly woke up. When I looked into his eyes, there was only shock and bewilderment. There was no attraction in them, they didn't need me, neither as a woman, nor as another person…
He asked the question again:
“What's wrong with you? Is everything fine?”
“I don't know…” I mumbled nonsense. “How can it be good if I'm sick with you? I love you! I've been going crazy for months…” I said, looking into his eyes.
I prepared these words for him, but I didn't imagine it would be that difficult to pronounce them. And even more, I thought that he would perceive them somehow differently.
“Elvira, what are you talking about?!” He looked at me incredulously.
“I'm telling the truth!” I continued with fervor, oh, what did I have to lose? “I wake up and go to sleep thinking of you! I imagine you in my bed, how we spend our nights on the go! I want to be in your arms. I want to be more to you than a colleague and a subordinate. I can not live without you! I want to be your… lover… Yes, I agree with this humiliating state, just to be close to you.”
He listened to me attentively and just looked at me with his indifferent and chilling gaze.
He spoke again and his words sounded like lightning from heaven:
“I'm married and I love my wife. We are expecting a baby and I am happy with this woman. I don't need anyone else. Not you or any other woman. Except for my wife, I'm not interested. Forgive me.”
He walked away and headed for the door. At the door, he remembered me and asked:
“Are you going home?”
"No…" I answered simply, trying to hide my anger. My world was destroyed. For a long time I was sure that as soon as I opened up to him, he would immediately open up to me. But I was cruelly wrong!
Dreams become real
He just went out, got in his car, and drove off. I was left alone with my thoughts. I constantly repeated his words in my head. I couldn't believe it, because everything was so good there in the restaurant! I thought he liked me!
But his words cut off my ears. I couldn’t remember how I got home, how I undressed and went to bed. But the next day I didn't go to work. I couldn't be with the man I loved and desired, after all his words. It was a real torment for me.
I didn’t understand what I was counting on? I was so dumb! I dreamed that he turned his attention to me!
Naturally, my absence from work was noted. It's true, not to Edward himself, but to our office manager, Alexandra. Oh, it would have been better if he called instead of her…
“Elvira?” I heard Alexandra's voice, in which there was suspicion, on the other side of the line. “Why aren't you at work?”
“Um, first of all hi.” I started in a weak voice. God, I didn't even have to pretend, I really felt very bad. “Second, I am sick and cannot work now.”
“Oh I see.” Alexandra said. “Well, Elvira, get well. The whole office is waiting for you.”
“Yes, of course,” I thought sarcastically, “the whole office is waiting! Everyone except Edward, damn it!”
Memories of the day before washed over me like an avalanche and I felt terribly ashamed. The scenes of the interaction with my boss immediately passed one after another: how I flirted with him, how I volunteered to go with him, how I kissed him and how he pushed me away… I buried myself under the covers, trying to escape from these scenes in my head, but they were going nowhere. I felt very bad morally, I was exhausted and had no idea what to do next.
“Quit? But I've been looking for a job like this for so long, and it's really good! But how can I keep working now? No, I won't be able to work on the same team with HIM. See him every day, and remember THIS every time! Oh, what have I done…”
Minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, little by little, a kind of slimy emptiness settled in my soul, and I didn't want to do anything. I didn't eat anything, I just sat on the couch and watched TV. Only then the meaning of movies, TV series and shows did not penetrate my head in any way.
On the fourth day, the bell suddenly rang. I focused my gaze on the phone screen – it blinked: ‘Edward Boss.’
I was very surprised and discouraged. My hand had already grabbed the phone and accepted the call, but with my head I didn't understand what was happening, the shock was so great, and I was silent on the phone.
“Uh… Elvira? Hello.” Said Edward's deep voice.
“Oh damn, so it's really true, he really is calling me.” I finally realized it and replied:
“Y-yeah… hi.”
“How do you feel?”
His voice was as nonchalant and polite as possible.
“Are you serious?” I was thinking surprised again. “You treated me that way, and you're not interested in me, but you call and you're interested in HOW I am?”
“I feel good.” I mumbled. “I will live. Thanks for asking.”
“Good.” He replied, with the same nonchalance. “Then I have a request for you, Elvira. Could I meet you today? Say, at lunch? Something needs to be discussed.”
“Edward, if you're talking about that case, then there seems to be nothing to discuss.” I suggested cautiously.
“God, Elvira.” You could tell from his displeased voice that he made a face. “I'm not talking about that at all. So, can you meet with me?”
I gave him my consent and he promised to send me an SMS with the name of the cafe where the meeting was scheduled. After the call, I sat for a long time, stunned by thunder. Why did he decide to meet me? What does he want to discuss with me? If not for that embarrassing moment, then what?
“What if he wants to fire me?” I thought suddenly with horror and realized that this was most likely the truth… But then why call me to a cafe? This was all too strange…