Fascinating geography
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Grandfather shook the sand out of his sandals and asked Dan to get off the table and sit on a chair.
– Shave yourself! – the client stuck his tongue out at the grandfather.
– I’ll shave you! – the magician groaned, kicking one of the table legs.
Dan expected anything from the old man, but not that his leg would be kept on his word of honor. As a result, he fell painfully on his back, hitting his head on a stack of dictionaries.
– You’re a fool, rotten old man, ax-head! – he hissed through his teeth, picking up the extinguished lamp from the floor.
Alina took it from the magician’s hands and, snapping her fingers, lit the wick, wanting to give the lamp to her grandfather, but that was not the case. The necromancer held it by the base with a strong grip and was not going to give it up. He jerked the lamp towards himself so that the sorceress almost fell nose-first into the dusty, scattered books of the old man Methodius. Dan squeezed the lamp in his left hand, and with his right began to move over the flame, as if he was writing fancy runes in the air. So this is how necromancers cast their spells!
The magician with the lamp walked straight towards the old polyglot, who at that time was reciting a spell over Ozhegov’s dictionary.
The dragon diligently scribbled quatrains without raising his head. At such moments, the muse came to him without asking and did not leave until the poet’s owner accomplished a feat.
Alina was unable to do anything. All that remained was to rely on fate. The fox’s skin sparkled blue, and the old man turned to the necromancer. And he had already raised a lamp high above him with a ready-made spell and a soul summoned from the Kingdom of the Dead. It’s just like an illustration for «Crime and Punishment» in the magical world, only Raskolnikov’s motives are completely stupid.
The grandfather, as the sorceress often recalled later, turned out to be dexterous and prepared for any actions on the part of his clients, so he accurately threw the skin at the necromancer’s head, and he rolled head over heels at his feet.
Blinded Dan, who did not expect such a turn of events, dropped the lamp into a pot of ficus standing on the window.
At the same moment, the room was filled with the smell of incense, and everyone present closed their eyes, because the acrid fog painfully stung the iris. Only a minute later the desperate dragon-writer decided to see with his own eyes the heroic feat of his grandfather.
– What was it? – the necromancer removed the faded fox skin from his forehead.
Alina and Methodius sat in different corners, closing their eyes and bowing their heads. The satisfied dragon, biting his tongue, wrote the next chapter of the poem, and instead of a ficus, a motionless long-haired tortoiseshell cat sat on the window.
– Yana?! – Dan rolled his eyes. – I didn’t call you!
The animal meowed in response, but did not move. The frightened sorceress first opened one eye, and, realizing that the danger had passed, opened the second one. The polyglot grandfather did the same.
«Forgive me, dear Methodius, for the mess and the attack on your person,» Dan bowed and continued to apologize, «when you gave me a dictionary of modern Russian slang, I could barely restrain myself from saying something obscene, and for some other reason the vocabulary began to control my character.
«Believe me, dear Daniel,» the old man said, putting his hand on his heart; the necromancer understood from his eyes that he was sincere. – I didn’t want to teach you this. When you said that you wanted to know modern Russian, I seemed to be bewitched, and I went for a slang dictionary.
Dan and Alina looked at each other. And the dragon settled down on an overturned table, as if on a barricade, and began to read a poem in Czech:
Fifa Pink is a bastard, And she secretly ordered the polyglot Dan to teach him swear words.
«Dear Daniel,» Methodius interrupted the dragon’s recitation, «to atone for my guilt, I am ready to do anything for you.»
The necromancer scratched the back of his head, and at this time the dragon continued:
Skins are burning, books are burning, and Alina slowly, a tornado suddenly catches up with everything, and that fire goes out!
– Hurray, it’s catching up and fading! I finally got a rhyme! – the poet squealed, jumping up and down on the table lying on its side.
– ABOUT! – Dan raised his index finger up, – teach our dragon Japanese. Let him write haiku! And so that he could not express himself in other languages!
And, after thinking a little, he added:
– That is, he can understand, but he doesn’t speak.
– You’re welcome.
– Dan, what are you doing? – the pet was indignant and was about to rush at the owner, but Alina held the animal by the paws, and Methodius successfully carried out the retraining operation.
The tortoiseshell cat watched everything that was happening in surprise, but could not move.
«Arigato, Mefodiusu-san! note 6,» the dragon bowed to the magician when the polyglot removed the skin from his forehead.
«Now say it in Russian,» Dan grinned.
«Denieru-sama no baka desunote 7,» the animal snorted, clutching the precious notebook to its chest.
The old man laughed hysterically, his mustache comically moving up and down, and the wizards, who did not understand anything in Japanese, could only guess what was funny about the black dragon.
«It’s okay, you’ll have a fight and then you’ll stop,» the grandfather grinned, stroking him on the withers.
He only looked at everyone present with a pitiful glance.
«Allow me, Mr. Methodius,» the necromancer began, not paying attention to the pet, «to borrow a dictionary of curse words from you in exchange for… the cat that is on your window.»
The old man ruffled his beard, looking first at the furry creature, then at the book in Dan’s hands, but still agreed to the exchange, complaining about his guilt. This was all the magician needed. He put the bad dictionary in his bosom and, taking Alina by the arm, gallantly said goodbye to the polyglot.