Темное, кривое зеркало. Том 5 : Средь звезд, подобно гигантам.
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"No," she said, loud enough for him to hear. She would not share her thoughts with this creature. That was for her people, for her lovers, for her loved ones. Al, Abby, Dexter.
She found herself thinking of the soul trapped within the Dark Starshe had encountered on the way here. A pitiful thing, still dreaming of the protective blanket that had kept him safe from imaginary monsters as a child.
Well, she was a child no longer, and the hardest lesson Talia had ever learned as an adult was that not all monsters are imaginary, and there is no blanket to hide beneath.
There was only her.
Waves of shadow flowed from her hands, enveloping the abomination. Tiny sparks of light tried to shine through the dark cloud, but they were soon swallowed up. Talia concentrated harder, forcing the tendrils into its throat, its eyes, its nose.
It fell, still trying to summon the light, still trying to invade her mind. It was failing, naturally. Its power worked on fear, and she was not afraid of them.
Help me,came the pitiful psychic cry. It fell to the ground, head tilted back, choking sounds coming from its shaking body. It reached out one hand to Dexter.
Help me, brother.
Talia looked at him, trembling. He was looking back at her, his gaze stern. She caught a glimpse of horror in his expression. It had been almost two years. She had changed. He would have to understand that.
He would understand that, wouldn't he?
The abomination tried to crawl towards him. H elp me, brother,it said again, reaching out to touch him.
Dexter kicked its hand away. "No," he said softly.
It shrank up into a ball, now completely consumed by the shadow. Little moans came from it, but they were becoming quieter and quieter. The shaking grew less and less. The shadow became smaller and smaller and finally faded away, leaving nothing behind.
Talia looked up at Dexter. He was motionless, staring at her.
"Don't judge me," she whispered. "Don't dare judge me."
"You've changed," he said.
"I'm at war. Of course I've changed."
He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. "I've changed too," he whispered.
She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.
"That's what you came to talk to me about, isn't it?" he asked. She nodded wordlessly. "They know you're here?" Another nod. "Will there be more of them?" Another nod.
"So," he said at last. "You need my help?"
"Yes," she said, pulling back and looking up at him. "They're here. They have a base here. IPX is still capturing telepaths and turning us into.... them. They're just going a little further afield."
"They won a contract from the Government some time last year. It involves going out amongst the destroyed colonies, looking for salvage. Lots of big ships. A long time away from Proxima, or anywhere civilised. Lots of scope for.... anything."
"I'm here to fight them," she said softly. "Want to help?"
"You mean, do I want to give up a cushy Senator's job and go back to the glory days of waging a suicidal guerilla war against all-powerful opponents?" He stopped, thinking about it. "Sure, why not? What's the first stage, other than both of us getting out of here?"
She kissed him. His lips were very warm. His head was pounding — she could feel the pain in the back of his skull. Too much alcohol. Not her, though. She was remarkably clear-headed.
"Thank you," she said.
"Anything for a lady."
"The first thing we need is a little help to get a few people inside Proxima without strictly legal passports. And there's an item we need brought in as well. You'll have to see it. It will explain a lot, not least.... how I've changed."
"I can do that. What's this item do?"
"A great many things. It's called the Apocalypse Box."
Ha'Cormar'ah G'Kar loved many things in his life, although it did not come easily to him to say so. I could read some of the things in his expression as he told his tales of the old days.
G'Kar looked at the shrine for a long time, his eyes half-closed, seeing half of what was and half what of had been and half of what he dreamed it could be.
No one ever saw what was there. They saw what they wished to be there.
Or what they feared was there.
Or some combination of both.
He loved his people. He loved his cause. He loved his friends dearly. He loved Delenn of Mir and Emperor Londo Mollari and he even felt some love for Primarch Sinoval, who was hardly the easiest person to love. He loved Commander Ta'Lon and the memory of Neroon, and most of all he loved Lennier, almost as much as I did.
He even loved me a little.
People passed by, no one seeming to notice the building in front of them. A holy place, dedicated to the lost and the fallen, and no one seemed to care. He saw a young human stare at it for a long time, a wide-eyed sense of wonder in his face, and then walk on. He saw a Narn girl humming to herself as she looked at it. He saw an elderly Narn soldier, walking with a heavy limp and missing an arm, stare at the memory of the building with misty eyes.
But the adults, those who held the power or supported those who held the power. The current generation of the Narn people. His generation, those who had survived the Occupation and the War and been able to realise the better world they had always told themselves was possible.
They saw nothing.
Most of all, he loved his hopes for the future. So much of that part of him had been lost before I met him, and most of what remained has been lost since. He rarely spoke of his dreams to me, but sometimes he did, and then his eyes seemed to light up.
That was what he truly loved, the future.
"So much is forgotten, so much is lost."
He was waiting for Lennier or Ta'Lon to get back to him. Both were investigating secret things, digging into buried mysteries. He was doing the same, but in his own way. Lennier and Ta'Lon were investigating conspiracies and secrets.