Темное, кривое зеркало. Том 5 : Средь звезд, подобно гигантам.
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Lennier, once of Minbar, once of the Third Fane of Chudomo, once a Ranger, knew what would happen. He felt a great deal of fear himself, but it was not coming from him. The voice in his mind, the one he had fought and struggled against for years.... it was afraid.
The light,his Keeper kept saying. T he light, the light. We are going to die.
"Yes," Lennier said simply. "We are."
I do not want to die.
"What we want rarely matters."
Ta'Lon was safe anyway, or so Lennier hoped. He hoped the big Narn had managed to get off-world. Ta'Lon had expected some sort of retaliatory strike for his Government's alliance with the Shadows — albeit nothing like this — and he would have gone to seek allies.
Lennier was glad he did not have to see Ta'Lon's face when he learned what was being done to his home.
He wandered idly, drifting here and there. He had spent a year on this world, watching and studying and hiding at G'Kar's behest, and he had come to know the place well. It was not his home, and it never would be. He did not have a home any more.
And he never would again.
His past seemed as hollow and empty as his future now would be. When he looked back, he tried to recall a single aspect of the universe that had been better for his existence. There was nothing. His life had enriched nothing and no one and there would be no one to notice he was gone. He had known few friends, and those he had would have forgotten him by now.
Ta'Lon was not a friend, just an ally. Delenn had been.... a bad memory. G'Kar a leader and a voice but not a friend. Londo....
Londo. He had been a friend. If he could go back to any part of his life, Lennier would have spent forever living those few months when he and Londo and Delenn were engaged on an impossible quest.
But Londo would have forgotten him by now. He was an Emperor without an Empire, a man trapped and bound by his own power. Lennier had heard about the heart attack. He hoped Londo would never wake up. Better death, even the living death of a coma, than to see the galaxy become like this.
No one to remember him. No one to acknowledge him. He had lived and served in the shadows and in the shadows he would die.
He walked, with no rhyme or reason or purpose, just to pass the time until the end. He saw people he recognised. An old man, obviously a former soldier, fist raised against the sky. A young girl, frantically searching for her mother. Others.
Many of them were moving about, moving quickly. He followed them, if for no other reason than to see where they were going, and found himself in the main square of the city.
Above them, a giant hologram of G'Kar appeared. Many of the Narns wept when they saw the image. Lennier only stared impassively. There were no illusions, no disguises. G'Kar looked weak and haunted. His right eye socket was a mass of raw flesh, and the bloodstains were only just drying on his tunic.
Still, he looked like a leader. Even as a hologram, his charisma and force of presence shone through.
"My people," the voice began. "My people, we have a great task ahead of us, and a great purpose as well. Our duty is no less than to ensure the survival of our race...."
At first she did not believe it. Delenn would not really accept what had happened until the first witnesses came to Babylon 5, burning with anger and grief and a terrible desire for revenge. It all seemed so.... horrible.
Except somehow she had known that something bad was happening.
She had been thinking about John, of course. He had seemed so awkward and unsure the last time he had seen her. He had left for Minbar to find David. Taking a holiday.
Without her.
Once she had loved him more than she had thought possible. At one time, he had filled her mind and her vision. She had dreamed of the two of them creating a new order, making the galaxy a better and newer and finer place.
Once she had known a love so great it seemed to burn her. Now their relationship had become cold and barren. He was like a block of ice in their bed. They never kissed, or touched.
It seemed that ever since she had gone to Z'ha'dum, everything that had been good between them had died. She had been afraid to touch him or love him, the memories of her child's dying heartbeat still echoing in her mind. He for his part had seemed to vacillate between treating her as if she were made of glass and not wanting to be near her.
She missed the man he had once been, just as she missed the woman she had once been. There had been a brief period, while Kazomi 7 was being rebuilt and before they had gone to Minbar, when everything had seemed new and perfect and joyful. Since then everything had become as ashes.
Maybe it would be better if things simply.... ended.
Her hand brushed her belly and she felt again the echo of a heartbeat. She could not hate anyone, that was the worst thing of all. She could not hate Welles, who had been a good man overall. She could not hate Clark, who had just been a vicious puppet. She could not hate the nameless, faceless scientists. She could not hate poor, dead Vejar, for lying to her and preventing her death.
She could not hate anyone, but she felt sometimes that John hated everyone.
The call of the comm channel stirred her from her reverie, and she blinked, looking up. "Yes?"
Kulomani's face appeared. Delenn sighed inwardly. She was still not sure what to say to the Brakiri about his handling of events at Centauri Prime. She could sense a shadow behind him, although whether he danced to its strings or acted entirely by his own will, she could not tell.
"Delenn," he said. "There is a matter.... of concern that you may wish to know."
"Yes?" she whispered, her heart pounding.