Темное, кривое зеркало. Том 5 : Средь звезд, подобно гигантам.
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"There is danger. Remember." s y
Head lolling on his shoulders, thick and heavy and empty, he looked up, his eyes bleeding simply from looking at the creature, at the monarch of this tiny and pathetic kingdom of ants. o u
"There is danger. Remember." w i
That was when Talia screamed, when a brilliant burst of light filled the room, and when his mind suddenly became a great deal clearer. l l
I was not there when G'Kar went to speak with the group Ambassador Lethke had gathered. Sometimes I wish I had been, but if I had gone, maybe I would never have left that room, and maybe these words would never have been written. My life is built on such flimsy and fragile choices and coincidences that sometimes I think I must have been blessed by some higher power, that my every breath is part of some grander scheme.
Then in my arrogance I stop, and realise that the same is true of every other living thing in existence.
It was not my choice not to go to that meeting. It was G'Kar's, and of course it was understandable. He was going to speak to some of the most powerful people in the Alliance, in the galaxy even. His words could affect the entire future of the Alliance. He had no wish for a child to accompany him.
But to that child, his decision seemed painful and treacherous. He had left me alone with a hard–faced, stern–looking woman called Na'Toth, who seemed too busy checking weapons and contacting ships outside the station to worry about me.
Tired and upset and a little angry, I waited in the corner of the room.
Everything I know about that meeting I heard later. I have heard some truly horrific rumours, some horrible reports.
I believe every one of them.
L'Neer of Narn, Learning at the Prophet's Feet.
There was silence for a moment as G'Kar stood framed in the doorway. Lethke did not know what to say, and he imagined everyone else was in the same position. o b
G'Kar looked.... both weaker and stronger. He was frail and the hasty bandage across his eye did little to hide the damage that had clearly been done. The effects of his imprisonment showed on his body. e y
But there was also a sort of glow on him, and his bearing radiated a vigour that belied his fatigue. Here was a wounded man, almost broken, someone who has stared death in the face and emerged with a new purpose, moving in that one perfect moment between weakness and strength. u s
It was G'Kael who spoke first. He moved forward and bowed his head. "Welcome back, Ha'Cormar'ah G'Kar," he said softly. y o
If G'Kar hesitated, it was only for an instant. He bowed his head likewise and said, "It is good to be back, Ambassador." u w
He looked around the room and Lethke felt the power of that one–eyed gaze fall upon him. He felt so ashamed and weak. Surely he could have done a little more, done something, anything, to have averted or forewarned or eased what had happened. He closed his eyes, and the gaze of judgment faded, moving on. i l
"May I sit?" G'Kar asked. l o
"Of course," Lethke replied. "You are most welcome here." b e
"I do not think so," came the reply. G'Kar sat down awkwardly, wincing slightly. "Forgive me for remaining seated while I speak, but it is easier for me this way." y u
"Should you not be in the medical facility?" G'Kael asked. "Your wounds look...." s y
"My wounds are as nothing compared to those of our people, or of this Alliance," G'Kar replied sharply. G'Kael bowed his head, chastened. "I heard of this meeting from Na'Toth and came to express my view. Not that of the Narn people, or the Narn Government, or the Rangers, or the Alliance. o u
"I come here to express the opinion of G'Kar, a single man." w i
Lethke sat down himself, cursing his lack of courage and foresight. He should have seen something. l l
"I watched as this Alliance was born. It came about from mutual need, yes, from the ruins of Kazomi Seven and the image of a hundred planets ruined in the same way. The threat to us all was very real and very powerful and we knew if we did not unite against it we would all be consumed. o b
"Perhaps that was our mistake, leaving our birthplace. On Kazomi Seven we only had to walk outside or glance out of a window to see some legacy of what had happened there, of what our Alliance was formed to oppose. Here everything seems so far away, little more than a memory. How soon we all forget the real truth. e y
"Just as soon we will forget Narn. If some have their way, war will begin because of this, and the Narn homeworld will be forgotten. u s
"The Alliance was built for peace. I believe in peace. I saw my world die, and I have spoken with those who have experienced the same thing. All are shocked and paralysed. All have different beliefs and opinions. Mine are shared by myself alone. Everyone disagrees with me, but I cannot help but continue to believe in the truth of my views. y o
"We brought this on ourselves. u w
"I do not speak of our Government. Whatever they did, they have paid for. I speak of our people. I speak of those of us who believed that we were superior and that no one else mattered, that we could interfere in the lives and homes of others at our pleasure, that they did not matter, that they could not fight back. We used this Alliance as a shield and as a sword, striking at our enemies in our ignorance and hiding behind it when they sought to strike back. i l
"And now we have discovered that there are those more powerful than we are. We have learned this with great pain and great loss. It is a lesson we must not forget. None of us. l o
"We are all stronger together than we are apart. b e
"Perhaps, if a better world can come of this for everyone, then those who died need not have died in vain. If we can all turn this loss to a greater good, as we did at Kazomi Seven, then we can create something greater than what was destroyed. y u
"I hope for that with all I have, and it is all that sustains me. s y
"But I doubt, truly, in my heart, that it will ever happen. o u
"What say all of you?" w i
There was a pause, in which Lethke hid his head in his hands. There were no words. There just were no words at all. l l
Taan Churok rose. "G'Kar," he said simply. "You wrong." o b
It was G'Kar who noticed the shadow first, and he turned to face the door. Lethke looked up a moment later. e y