The Idol

Kycherenko Vadim

Sumyatov. Don’t be such an idealist.

Alla. Okay! I bet you came here with a specific purpose and you are not going to give it up.

Sumyatov. With what purpose? Tell me! Don’t be shy!

Alla. To overthrow the idols – here is you purpose! You don’t even hide it.

Sumyatov. All or nobody. It would be just fair.

Alla. And the climber Victor Mancev is going to be the first victim of your noble intention?

Sumyatov. I guess, the victims are those whose fame he has appropriated.

Alla. Oh, you, journalists!

Sumyatov. Why are you so sarcastic?

Alla. Doesn’t life seem boring to you with such a way of thinking?

Sumyatov. I can’t understand you, Alla!

Alla. Bad for you.

Sumyatov. Sorry.

Alla. Did you get offended? Don’t be a kid.

Sumyatov. Well, Let me leave you and have a glass of tomato juice (Coming up the bar counter). One glass of bloody Mary, please!

Tomov. You have a beautiful wife, buddy. I get envy you!

Sumyatov. Please, don’t. We’ve just met.

Tomov. Lucky you! One can fall in love with such a lady at the first sight.

Sumyatov. And fall out of love after the first date.

Tomov. Whatever. You won’t get offended If I run after her?

Sumyatov. It’s up to you. (Leaves).

Tomov. Levan, two alcohol cocktails to the first meeting please!

Levan. Aren’t you crazy, dear?

Tomov. Don’t kill the rising fair feeling. Just as an exception! I will be your debtor till the end of my life, believe me!

Levan. Okay, but I am taking big risk. You know about the prohibition at our camp.

Tomov. I got you. I am not a fool. How much?

Levan. A double price.

Tomov. If only risk would always be paid like that where could we find cowards, Levan?

Levan. I am not insisting, dear.

Tomov. Take your coins, you the risky guy! (Coming up to Alla). Excuse me for intrusion…

Аllа. Don’t intrude and I won’t have to excuse you.

Tomov. What a strict lady!

Alla. I am a very expensive lady.

Tomov. That’s good. I don’t like cheap stuff.

Alla. Are you sure you can afford me?

Tomov. I have a fat wallet, don’t worry. Wouldn’t you mind to have a drink with me?

Alla. You’d better start with it. To what are we going to have a drink?

Tomov. To you, my lady!

Alla. It’s trite.

Tomov. Then…

Alla. Don’t strain yourself. I have an idea. Let’s drink to the real men, that they would still exist in our world!

Tomov. Terrific toast!

Anna. Vasil, listen! (reading a newspaper).

«A house for sale. The house located in the suburban area faces the mountains, has five rooms and a garden of fifteen hundreds square meters…» It’s great, isn’t it?

Vasil. Terrific!

Anna. I wish I had such a house. We would take your mom there! The doctors tell her to walk more in the open air.

Vasil. How much is it?

Anna. It doesn’t say. Levanchik, how much could be a house in this area?

Levan. It might be fifty or one hundred thousand dollars.

Anna. Oh, It’s impossible!

Levan. Why should I tell lies?!

Anna. Come on, this is a daylight robbery!

Levan. Hey, money means nothing! Now you have money, tomorrow you are down on your luck. But a house means family, children, grandchildren. You are not going to spare any money for it, believe me.

Anna. Sure you won’t spare! But where are you going to get money?

Levan. Money is just lying on the ground. Just take it, don’t get lazy!

Анна. Oh, Levanchik where have you been while we together with Vasil were looking for our money on tops of the mountains?

Vasil. We were looking for them but didn’t find.

Tomov. Are you sure you didn’t?

Vasil. Well, there is some.

Anna. It’s not your business!

Tomov. Anna, would you remind me: was there any information about a pigsty in that newspaper classified?

Anna. I think no.

Tomov. Then don’t waste your time – it’s not your variant.

Anna. Why do think so?

Tomov. Where are you going to breed your pigs? Right in the house?

Anna. Vasil, just listen!

Vasil. What’s that, my sweat heart?

Anna. Oleg is laughing at us again.

Vasil. God damn him!

Tomov. Vasil, listen, here is a funny story! Allochka, you too. Once a photo reporter visited a young farmer at his place. Everything goes well: welcome dinner, photo session and stuff like that. On the next day, the farmer looks through the newspaper and sees a photo: he is embracing a pig. And there is a slug on the bottom: “Petka, the boar on the left, Vasil Korobko on the right”.

Vasil. Hey, you, go to hell!

Alla. Are you serious?

Tomov. I told you this is an anecdote.

Alla. No, I mean are you serious that those guys are really going to change mountains for pigs?

Tomov. I am not kidding. Vasil, I saw you yesterday reading a book. What was the title?

Vasil. Yesterday? Oh, yes! It was «Breeding of Sows at the Arctic Circle”.

Tomov. He is an expert, I told you! Are you also keen on these grunting creatures?

Alla. Are you crazy? I don’t care about this pig’s life!

Anna. What did you say!

Alla. What’s the matter?

Anna. Aren’t you a Muslim?

Alla. Oh, my God!

Anna. The Muslims can’t stand pigs. The Koran forbids them. It says that pig is a dirty animal.

Alla. Such a prejudice!

Anna. And what do you know about them?

Alla. About pigs? Actually, I haven’t thought of them…

Anna. In your opinion pigs are just dirt, stench and scream?

Alla. No, it’s also lard and meat.

Anna. By the way, a pig is a very smart animal!