The Mist and the Lightning. Part II
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"Not at all," Nikto again covered his eye with the cloth soaked in the healing ointment and tied the bandage.
"When can I take off this shit?" Orel asked.
"Well, wait a little, not everything at once."
Orel got up.
"Hey, where are you going to? I've just told you that you couldn't get up!"
"But Nik, I need to piss," Orel looked at him fearfully.
Nikto shrugged.
"As you wish. Choose yourself what is more important for you, a good eye or…"
"Nik, you're joking, I hope?"
Nikto lay down in the bed. "I'm joking."
Orel flushed. "Idiot!" He got up carefully and slowly walked to the bathroom door. At the door he turned to Nikto. "Did you hear what I said? You're an idiot!"
Nikto laughed and threw an empty bottle at him.
"All right, go!"
Orel barely managed to dodge; the bottle hit the wall and fell on the floor rattling. Thick glass resisted the fall and didn't break.
"Fuck you!" Orel yelled and hid behind the door. When he came back, Nikto was still in bed. Orel came up to the mirror.
"Oh gods! I look like shit!"
He tried to smoothen his twisted hair.
"Nik, what have you done to me? I've never looked shittier!"
"Really?" Nikto could barely keep from laughing.
Orel turned to him.
"You're laughing! At first you mutilated me, made me a laughing-stock and now you're amusing yourself!"
Nikto reached his arms. "Come here, come to me!"
Orel lowered his gaze and silently walked up to him. As soon as Nikto could reach to him he grabbed Orel and overturned him onto the bed.
"Enough!"
Orel didn't resist. Nikto put him onto his back, leaned over him, his eyes glittered merrily.
"I hear, you're angry," he said. "Prince Arel Chig is displeased with something again."
Orel kept silent.
Nikto patted his hair, pressed his lips to it, then blew at Orel's temple.
"Should I call for Mina to comb your hair?"
"No, I don't need Mina, I don't need anyone but you. But I'm afraid – you didn't particularly like me before, and now when I look like that, you'll like me even less."
"Indeed," Nikto said. "You're simply disgusting: one-eyed and – just imagine! – with dirty, not combed hair."
Orel laughed. "Uncombed!"
"Whatever. You understand me."
"No, I don't understand. Are you just keeping me company while I'm sick? Or do you really want to be with me?"
"What do you think?" Nikto moved away from him slightly, supporting himself on his elbow. His other hand fingered his earrings mechanically.
"I'm afraid even to think about it," Orel got pale. "If you're just playing with me and then will leave me, I'll die. No, I don't even want to think about it!"
"Calm down, it's all right, I'll stay with you," Nikto lowered his gaze. "And I accepted the idea that I have to be not only a warrior here but also you lover."
Orel shivered and sat up in bed.
"But you don't want that! You just submitted to me because you were cornered! I didn't leave you a choice from the very beginning. Right?"
"Arel, calm down."
"Enough of calming me down!"
"Are you not tired of discussing our relations? I am," Nikto took a cigarette and lit it.
"Why do I always start a quarrel with you?" Orel said, depressed. "I don't understand."
Nikto smoked silently. Suddenly Orel raised his head.
"Nik, get up and dress."
Nikto looked at him in surprise but didn't say anything. He stubbed the cigarette and started dressing. Then he looked at Orel questioningly.
"Should I take the weapon?"
Orel nodded. "Now take the armchair, move it to the bed and sit down."
Nikto did everything as Orel said. Now he sat in the armchair, Orel, on the bed.
"Shit. You're obedient," Orel laughed. "I like it."
Nikto shrugged silently. Orel stopped smiling. He seemed to gather his strength.
"Nik, I rendered you a service accepting you into the circle of humans. You thanked me fulfilling my wish. Now we are even. Maybe I said it wrong, it isn't really so but it doesn't matter. The main thing is that you don't owe me anything any more," he looked at Nikto. "Do you understand? No more gratitude, no nothing. You submitted to me, accepted my whim, gave me what I wanted – it's enough. Now you're free."
Orel looked at Nikto's face but couldn't understand what he was thinking at this moment, no matter how much he tried. He would like to know it so much! He lost the track of his thoughts, stammered, trying to express what he wanted to say.
"No, don't think I fell out of love with you, I think it's just impossible… and maybe because I love you even more I don't want to keep forcing you. I don't know if you understand me but I swear by all my ancestors that you will be just my friend. Do you think I won't be able to stand it? I'll stand it, don't doubt. You said it yourself that I handle pain well. You will be on the team, as before, we'll talk but there will be nothing else for my part, just friendship. Believe me, believe me, Nik, you're free from my love, and there will be no hard feelings from me. You know it's silly," he smiled sadly, "but I hoped that since I love you so much, you'll get to love me too," he paused.
"Yeah, I was too self-confident. Well, it's just that it never happened to me before. If I showed any interest about anyone, they were glad to respond to me. And for some reason I decided that it would be forever like that. Well, it didn't work – and to kiss you knowing that you just want to please me and you don't have any feelings towards me – I don't want that. It is humiliating me, and you too. I need everything or nothing – yes, that's it. I decided to make a choice like that. Enough of this illusion of relationship, it is stupid. That is why, Nik, leave – go to the Lower City, to the others. And when you come back, I won't be in your room, I'll go to mine. We'll forget everything that happened. I'll never remind you about it," he looked away. "Perhaps I've talked for too long but I wanted you to understand that I don't need your gratitude any more, you're free. Leave, Nik, it'll be right. I respect your choice and there are no hard feelings from me."