There are gaps in the teeth for such jokes. A play for 10 people. Comedy
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Dasha (to the decoy girl, getting fiercer by the second). What? What did you say there? Change?
Dasha lets go of our decoy girl, they disperse for a few seconds – they run away, get better, look at each other with hatred.
Dasha (to the decoy girl, hitting herself in the chest). Well, come on, pregnant. Show what you're capable of, be brave. Well? What? Scared? And? And? Well, well!
The ladies are grappling with squeals and squeaks. They fall on the stage, roll on the floor.
Tolik, meanwhile, finishes his tea, puts the mug on the table, watching everything that is happening without much interest. But now he gets tired of it.
Tolik (with understanding, surrendering his position with deliberate guilt). Okay, okay, calm down, leave the man alone … I'll show you Anya, so be it.
The ladies let go of each other, push themselves apart.
Tolik deliberately walks away guiltily towards the kitchen. Our decoy girl hurriedly goes backstage, finally snorting Dasha.
The decoy girl (nervously, indignantly, addressing Dasha). Hysterical!
Dasha looks back at the decoy, but does not say anything to her, turns to Tolik, glares at her husband.
Tolik turns to Dasha, suspending his move.
Tolik (leaving, Dasha, apologetically, begging, sincerely). Only, dear, please, keep yourself in hand…
Dasha is shaking. She barely restrains herself so as not to jerk like an over-boiled kettle. She growls, moans, tears and throws. Will tear up everyone and everyone now.
Tolik leaves.
Dasha is trying to control herself.
Tolik returns from the kitchen. He carries a saucer in his hand, on which there are only a few pieces of cake.
Tolik (deliberately guilty, with a guilty head). Here.
Tolik defiantly pushes the saucer with the cake forward, guiltily misses his gaze and head.
Dasha (confused, in mixed feelings). What is it? I mean, here? What are you putting a cake under my nose here? (Strictly, defiantly) Where is your Anechka?
Tolik (barely restraining victorious laughter). Here it is…
Tolik giggles and points to the pieces of cake he has brought.
Dasha (confused, in mixed feelings, nervous). What do you mean?
Tolik (barely restraining victorious laughter). The cake is called "Anechka". I baked it for you, but I didn't wait, I ate almost all of it myself.
Tolik begins to laugh openly, seeing his wife's reaction.
Dasha understands what's what, puts her hands on God, rounds her eyes and with strength and emotion gives her husband her soaked nerves and everything she has just experienced.
Dasha (as emotionally as possible, brightly loud). Su.....
Here you need a loud beeping!!!
We do not let Dasha finish her capacious word publicly, even though she completes it.
The husband blooms and smells. The joke was a success, he achieved his goal.
Dasha grabs this plate, and smears it with all her heart in Tolik's face, with great diligence smearing the remains of the cake into his shining radiant smile.
Tolik's mood is changing. He's not having fun anymore. He is silent, trying to dig out of his nose, eyes, and, well, from where the remains of the cake may be there.
Dasha freaks out, starts rushing around the room, collecting things.
Dasha (as emotionally as possible, brightly loudly). Noooo! It's impossible. You can't live like this anymore. I put up with this weirdo as long as I could, but, my dear little joker. (With decent gestures) Would you go with your jokes to…
Zapikivaem!
Dasha (as emotionally as possible, brightly loudly). In....
We kick!
Dasha (as emotionally as possible, brightly loudly). And to E....
Zapikivaem!
Dasha (as emotionally as possible, brightly loudly). … mothers!!!
Dasha continues to collect her things. He takes out a suitcase from somewhere, casually throws his belongings there.
Dasha (in the process of emergency fees). After all, my mother told me that with this homegrown KVN player, there is nothing to wait for except a shattered nervous system. (Harshly addressed to her husband) Humorist – put him in a sweatshirt!
Dasha nervously throws things right on the floor, looks into the auditorium, looking for support and compassion. Puts his hand on his heart, speaks sincerely from the Heart.
Dasha (coming to the foreground, addressing the viewer). Girls! I understand that we all want a young, mischievous, bright, witty. So that it would not be boring to live with him. To be like on a volcano.
She nods in the direction of her husband, makes a short pause in the monologue.
Dasha (to the viewer, nodding towards her husband). There… sits the pearl-spewer! Do you want such a husband perlun? Girls, don't repeat my mistakes. Let it be better to have some kind of brake, a ram, a club. It doesn't matter who, but not the joker. Because it is simply impossible to live with a joker. It's not a full house, it's not a quest, it's…
Zapikivaem! Zapikivaem! Zapikivaem! Zapikivaem! Zapikivaem!
We actively jam Dasha's emotional speeches while she mumbles something there and expounds in a fairly emotional form along with active gestures.
Dasha turns to her husband, Tolik just by this moment more or less manages to clean his face and settle down, as if nothing had happened, in some kind of a sitting place.
Dasha (viciously, a little bit). That's it! I'm confused! Goodbye!
Dasha quickly throws the remnants of things into the suitcase. She picks up what she threw from the floor, grabs a couple of other things, quickly zips it all into a suitcase and leaves, finally growling nervously.