Idiots are invincible

Dr Ro

WHAT A NICE way to start … from the end. Kind of unusual for a book. But this is an unusual book, for unusual people. I am confident that its content will mark the end of a period in your life and the beginning of another, becoming an important aid in reducing negative thoughts and emotions, and living healthier and happier. Now, off we go!

Story: Some escape!

On a cold and rainy winter’s afternoon at an airport, a 12-year-old boy observed several passengers at an airport, waiting for an update on their flight. The flight was delayed, and they looked worn out and glum.

“How come those people look so tired?” he asked his father.

“Perhaps because adult life is tough,” replied the father.

“You mean I will also become like that when I grow up?” the twelve-year-old asked.

Taking a minute to think, his father responded:

“Some people manage to escape.”

Is this how I’ll be when I grow up? I think I’ll pass!

Who manages to “escape?” What kind of coping strategies do people implement when faced with life’s challenges? Why is it that some individuals never seem to be able to cope while some others appear to face less adversity in their lives?

These are the questions that intrigued a number of distinguished researchers, including Paul Stolts, the University of Pennsylvania professor who shared the preceding story, and, of course, myself!

To begin to answer these questions, though, the first thing is really to understand, well, how you are doing.

How are you doing?

When asked this question, participants at my lectures and workshops are unenthusiastic. Many of them sound very frustrated. A common response is “Blah, I am constantly running around, too much stress!” As the conversation starts rolling, questions on the topic start falling along these lines.

“What is stress?”

“Is it normal?”

“Can stress be useful?”

“What are the health consequences of excessive stress?”

“I don’t have stress. Is this dangerous?”

To find answers to all of these questions, you will have to read the following chapters. To get us started, though, I will answer just a couple, selectively, right here.

The first thing to know about stress, really, is that many people believe that feeling stressed day and night is normal. Partially true. Excessive stress is like suicide. Negative emotions secrete hormones that affect our body. These same hormones may, in the long term, have negative effects on our health. Too little stress, on the other hand, may also be harmful!

When I ask “Who in this group thinks has the most problems to deal with?” most individuals put their hands up – they think it’s them.

Here are some more brief answers / teasers to frequently asked questions.

Q.: “Are there some “lucky individuals” who were born with superior resistance to stress? Is it possible to be completely “insensitive?” What can one do to reduce (or increase) stress?”

A.: “Yes. No. A lot.”

Q.: “If I read this book, will I be able to get rid of stress for good?”

A.: Okay, I will answer this one as well, for the sake of marketing the book. I guess the answer is similar to the one for the question “If I take a bath will I smell nice forever?” or “If I eat a lot, will I feel hungry again?” The reduction or, rather, the management of stress needs to be a continuous, life-long process.

Q.: “What’s in it for me if I reduce stress?”

A.: The benefits of stress management include, among other things, better interpersonal relationships, a stronger immune system and fewer diseases, making a significant step towards the realization of one’s full potential (if this can ever be achieved …), and, obviously, wellbeing and a more pleasant and satisfying life.

Isn’t it strange? When we have a headache or a stomach ache we share our problem with everyone around, visit the doctor, follow the prescription, try “alternative or complementary medicine,”¹ we even follow the advice of quacks.

On the other hand, when we suffer from excessive stress or are dissatisfied with our lives, we often do nothing but complain to people who are, overall, unable to help us resolve the actual stress problems.

At the same time, there is so much talk about stress on a daily basis without anyone ever saying enough. I sincerely hope that the content of this book will become a significant aid for the rest of your life.

In this relatively simplified manual, I have tried to summarize a series of theories and techniques alongside a number of everyday serious and funny applications. I have, as much as possible, avoided numerous references and academic citations to scientific studies. My goal is that everyone should understand the material. I assure you however, that (most of) what you are about to read is cross-referenced, with evidence and results from legitimate scientific research; apart, perhaps, from the folk wisdom that stems from the short tales cited. These proffer a common knowledge that has been available through the ages.

Q.: “Do you practice what you preach?”

A.: I was a champion at 15, a champion-worrier. I had received extensive training by that age. My parents were champions too! Apparently, the Greeks have a great national worrying team. Unfortunately, worrying never became an Olympic event.

“Do this, don’t do that, you haven’t eaten enough, wear this, watch out, you’ll hurt yourself, be careful, you’ll catch a cold …”

This lasted for years. In fact, I went through the first 24 years of my life having no idea about the psychological theories and applications described in the following chapters. I certainly wish I had been exposed to them earlier! Truth is that although my life has improved a lot since I have read and mastered the related materials, I often neglect to apply them when under pressure. But they certainly have made a huge difference in the way I see the world and deal with challenges.

–Spiderman, are you going out? –Yes Mom. –Put your robe on, you will catch a cold.

How our mind … runs

Al Oerter was an American athlete. He won four consecutive Olympic gold medals in the discus throw and has been in top physical condition for at least 16 years. According to Dr Dennis Waitley, when he was in his forties, Al made the following statement:

“By the time I realized that success is 90 percent the result for how our mind runs and 10 percent the result of how we run, I already had the body of a senior citizen! Oh, if only I could be young, if only I could have had this knowledge earlier in my life.”