Idiots are invincible

Dr Ro

– Stress, behaviour, and certain personality traits can increase one’s chances of becoming ill.

– Most headaches are caused by muscle tension.

– Stress can affect the course of cancer.

– Stress is the best substrate for the activation and multiplication of various pathogenic microorganisms, as it decreases the effectiveness of the immune system.

– Individuals can moderate the frequency, intensity, duration and, as a result, the consequences or effects of stress.

– Personal development efforts, such as training in emotional management, health education, and behaviour modification (nutrition, exercise, and smoking cessation) contribute to better physical and psychological health.

– A sense of humour can buffer the effects of stress.

– Married people live longer and have 30 percent higher incomes.

I hope these questions have sparked your interest. The answers are … somewhere in this book.⁸ It seems that you will have to read on.

Let us begin!

PART I: A LITTLE THEORY

I want to move to theory. Everything works in theory. – John Cash

ARE YOU stressed? If yes, join the club.

Stress can be useful or detrimental. Many studies have shown, however, that excessive stress is harmful for just about anyone. The extent of the negative effects of stress depends on a number of factors, such as genes, general physical condition, diet and lifestyle, etc. Do not despair though, because there are a number of cognitive and behavioural stress management techniques and methods to help you deal with stress and reduce its negative effects.

In this Part we will answer the following questions:

What is stress?

What or who creates stress?

Is stress generated from the outside or the inside?

If you feel pressure and stress, what senses allow you to experience these feelings? Can you see stress? Hear it? Catch it and kick it away? Can you smell stress? Taste it and season it?

Are some people born “stressed?”

Is stress “necessary?”

Chapter 1: Stress? What is that?

Stress is when you wake up screaming … and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet! – Anonymous

ONCE UPON a time, in a small south European country, I gave a talk to Greek repatriates from Russia.

During the lecture, answering my questions they complained of numerous problems. They were unemployed, lived in basement apartments, had no health insurance for themselves or their loved ones, and were discriminated against and treated poorly.

I was stunned. I had just returned from my postgraduate studies in Australia, where living standards and the quality of life are comparably high, and certain things that in other nations are considered luxuries are taken for granted.

Since that day, I have talked to various audiences – several thousands of people in total. I have addressed entrepreneurs whose businesses were generating millions of Euros. They also told me they had numerous problems and a lot of stress because … they had lots of money! I came to think that money, or the lack of it, may not be the real problem.

Is this a problem or what: Which one should I buy?

I asked an old classmate how he was doing. He replied sadly that he had no work. On the other hand, I am constantly complaining that I have too much work. I realised that work may not be the main source of stress either.

Some people believe that if they had a car, their life would be easier. Those (at least in large and populated cities) who own a car start cursing the moment they have to use it and drive to their destination. They automatically think of the traffic and the stress related to searching for somewhere to park.

I was now officially confused.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

I always begin my talks by asking participants to evaluate their mood at that moment, using a Likert scale from 1 = excellent to 5 = lousy. As you can probably guess, replies vary substantially.

Story: I’ve got her/him to hug …

A couple of years ago, I was lecturing to my students at City College. “Well, how are they feeling?” you might well ask. On the other hand, you may not. Whether you ask or not, I will tell you. How would you expect them to feel? Poor students … Most of them stated that, other than the burden of studying, they were still single although they really wished they had a partner, someone to hug during those quiet or … restless … nights that seem to last forever. I must add at this point that some of the students confessed that they faced problems because they had too many partners to hug, and that their nights were not only not quiet, but they were never enough either.

“Relationships,” I thought, “what an important area! It might well be the most important facet in all of our lives. Besides, whenever I run a counselling session – irrespective of the nature of the problem that prompted the discussion – we almost always end up dealing with interpersonal relationships.” Isn’t that interesting?

Another group of people confirmed my theory about the importance of relationships, in an unexpected way. For a number of years, I taught on a lifelong learning program for 40 to 60-year-young teachers. I made the mistake of asking them about their lives.

“How are you guys doing?”

While my 20-year-old students moaned and groaned about not having anyone to hug, this group responded:

“How do you think we’re doing? Lousy!”

The married teachers eagerly added in an effort to explain:

“We’ve got him/her to hug,” pointing at each other.

I've got HER to hug …

Money, work, relationships … the major sources of stress. If not these, then what is it that makes us feel the way we do?