Из полного собрания бессмыслиц

Лир Эдвард

III

“O Mr. Daddy Long-legs,”Said Mr. Floppy Fly,“It’s true I never go to court,And I will tell you why.If I had six long legs like yours,At once I’d go to court!But oh! I can’t, because my legsAre so extremely short.And I’m afraid the King and Queen(One in red, and one in green)Would said aloud, “You are not fit,You Fly, to come to court a bit!”

IV

“O Mr. Daddy Long-legs,”Said Mr. Floppy Fly,“I wish you’d sing one little song!One mumbian melody!You used to sing so awful wellIn former days gone by,But now you never sing at all;I wish you’d tell me why:For if you would, the silvery soundWould please the shrimps and cockles round,And all the crabs would gladly comeTo hear you sing, “Ah, Hum di Hum!”

V

Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs,“I can never sing again!And if you wish, I’ll tell you why,Although it gives me pain.For years I cannot hum a bit,Or sing the smallest song;And this the dreadful reason is,My legs are grown too long!My six long legs, all here and there,Oppress my bosom with despair;And if I stand, or lie, or sit,I cannot sing one single bit!”

VI

So Mr. Daddy Long-legsAnd Mr. Floppy FlySat down in silence by the sea,And gazed upon the sky.They said, “This is a dreadful thing!The world has all gone wrong,Since one has legs too short by half,The other much too long!One never more can go to court,Because his legs have grown too short;The other cannot sing a song,Because his legs have grown too long!”

VII

Then Mr. Daddy Long-legsAnd Mr. Floppy FlyRushed downward to the foamy seaWith one sponge-taneous cry;And there they found a little boat,Whose sails were pink and grey;And off they sailed among the waves,Far, and far away,They sailed across the silent main,And reached the great Gromboolian plain;And there they play for evermoreAt battlecock and shuttledoor.

Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow

I

On a little piece of wood,Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood;Mrs. Sparrow sate close by,A-making of an insect pie,For her little children five,In the nest and all alive,Singing with a cheerful smileTo amuse them all the while,Twikky wikky wikky wee,Wikky bikky twikky tee,Spikky bikky bee!

II

Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said,“Spikky, Darling! in my headMany thoughts of trouble come,Like to flies upon a plum!All last night, among the trees,I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze;And, thought I, it’s come to thatBecause he does not wear a hat!Chippy wippy sikky tee!Bikky wikky tikky mee!Spikky chippy wee!

III

Not that you are growing old,But the nights are growing cold.No one stays out all nights longWithout a hat: I’m sure it’s wrong!”Mr. Spikky said, “How kind,Dear! you are, to speak your mind!All your life I wish you luck!You are! you are! a lovely duck!Witchy witchy witchy wee!Twitchy witchy witchy bee!Tikky tikky tee!

IV

I was also sad, and thinking,When one day I saw you winking,And I heard you sniffle-snuffle,And I saw your feathers ruffle;To myself I sadly said,She’s neuralgia in er head!That dear head has nothing on it!Ought she not to wear a bonnet?Witchy kitchy kitchy wee?Spikky wikky mikky bee?Chippy wippy chee?

V

Let us both fly up to town!There I’ll buy you such a gown!Which, completely in the fashion,You shall tie a sky-blue sash on.And a pair of slippers neat,To fit your darling little feet,So that you will look and feelQuite galloobious and genteel!Jikky wikky bikky see,Chicky bikky wikky bee,Twicky witchy wee!”

VI

So they both to London went,Alighting on the Monument,Whence they flew down swiftly—pop,Into Moses’ wholesale shop;There they bought a hat and bonnet,And a gown with spots upon it,A satin sash of Cloxam blue,And a pair of slippers too.Zikky wikky mikky bee,Witchy witchy mitchy kee,Sikky tikky wee.

VII

Then when so completely drest,Back they flew, and reached their nest.Their children cried, “O Ma and Pa!How truly beautiful you are!”Said they, “We trust that cold or painWe shall never feel again!While, perched on tree, or house, or steeple,We now shall look like other people.Witchy witchy witchy wee,Twikky mikky bikky bee,Zikky sikky tee.”

The Pelican chorus

King and Queen of the Pelicans we;No other Birds so grand we see!None but we have feet like fins!With lovely leathery throats and chins!Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!We think no Birds so happy as we!Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!We think so then, and we thought so still!We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.By night we sleep on the cliffs above;By day we fish, and at eve we standOn long bare islands of yellow sand.And when the sun sinks slowly downAnd the great rock walls grow dark and brown,Where the purple river rolls fast and dimAnd the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,Wing to wing we dance around,—Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought,And this is the song we nightly snort;—Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!We think no Birds so happy as we!Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill,—We think so then, and we thought so still!Last year came out our Daughter, Dell;And all the Birds received her well.To do her honour, a feast we madeFor every bird that can swim or wade.Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds.Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!They ate and drank and danced all night,And echoing back from the rocks you heardMultitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,—Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!We think no Birds so happy as we!Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill,We think so then, and we thought so still!Yes, they came; and among the rest,The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.Such a lovely tail! Its feathers floatBetween the ends of his blue dress-coat;With pea-green trowsers all so neat,And a delicate frill to hide his feet,—(For though no one speaks of it, every one knows,He has got no webs between his toes!)As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,In violent love that Crane King fell,—On seeing her wadding form so fair,With a wreath of shrimps in her shot white hair.And before the end of the next long day,Our Dell had given her heart away;For the King of the Cranes had won that heart,With a Crocodile’s egg and a large fish-tart.She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;And away they flew in a gathering crowdOf endless birds in a lengthening cloud.Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!We think no Birds so happy as we!Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!We think so then, and we thought so still!And far away in the twilight sky,We heard them singing a lessening cry,—Farther and farther till out of sight,And we stood alone in the silent night!Often since, in the nights of June,We sit on the sand and watch the moon;—She has gone to the great Gromboolian plain,And we probably never shall meet again!Oft, in the long still nights of June,We sit on the rocks and watch the moon;—She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore,And we probably never shall see her more.Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!We think no Birds so happy as we!Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!We think so then, and we thought so still!

The Table and the Chair

I

Said the Table to the Chair,“You can hardly be aware,How I suffer from the heat,And from chilblains on my feet!If we took a little walk,We might have a little talk!Pray let us take the air!”Said the Table to the Chair.

II

Said the Chair unto the Table,“Now you Know we are not able!How foolishly you talk,When you know we cannot walk!”Said the Table, with a sigh,“It can do no harm to try,I’ve as many legs as you,Why can’t we walk on two?”