Shake the old. A play for 5 people. Comedy in two acts

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Comedy for 5 people. A play in two acts. (Can be delivered as a one-act).

An explanatory note for the director is attached at the end of the play.

ACTORS

Methodius (retired).

Agnes (retired).

Vedana (retired).

Nyura (pensioner).

Yulka (young girl).

Morning. Courtyard. Bench.

Grunting, Nyura slowly comes out. Modest old man's clothes, a handkerchief tied on his head. He looks at an empty bench, slowly turns around, looks for his friends. Doesn't find it. Makes a deflection in the back (corrects the back, accompanying this edit with a heavy "Oh-oh"), sits down on a bench. Pulls out a smartphone with a shaking hand. Puts on glasses, looks closely at the screen, "pokes" something in the smartphone, presses a button, sends a voice message.

Nyura (in a raspy, still undeveloped voice). Well, where are you, my beloved comrades? I'm already on duty. Come on, hurry up. Let's sit and think about the life we've lived… And not only that… for ours.

Releases the button. He hears the hubbub of friends.

Agnes (cheerfully). Yes, here she is already right here!

Vedana (cheerfully). Sitting, already. Nimble!

Enter Agnes and Vedana. They walk slowly, in an old man's way. Each has a bag in her hand (not empty). The mood of the friends is upbeat.

Agnes (cheerfully). Sitting, sitting already girlfriend. And it's good.

Vedana (cheerfully). Yes, it's on hand!

Nyura (surprised, pointing at her smartphone). And… and I just sent you a message in the chat. Well, all right, come on, come on, moor up.

Friends, like two elementary school students, stand in front of Nyura, are embarrassed, hold each other's hand. Trying to catch their breath. They smile sweetly and cunningly.

Nyura understands what will happen now.

Nyura ("disowning" purely symbolically). Oh, come on, girls, really! Let's do without it all. Don't remind me, and it's so sickening.

Agnes (cautiously, with a grin). No, well…, we were preparing.

Vedana (cheerfully). In fact, Nyurka! Come on, don't get upset!

Nyura (waving it off and not pushing too hard). Ay, do what you want!

Agnes (pathetically). So, our dear Nyurochka. You've become a grown-up girl today. Vedana and I have conferred and decided to buy you a birthday present.

Nyura (symbolically refusing). Yes, we will.

Vedana (cheerfully). You wait to deny it. Take a look first, you'll be happy right away.

Agnes (positively). Look!

Agnes takes a handkerchief out of the bag, unwraps it, shows it defiantly. The handkerchief is exactly the same as the one tied on Nyura's head.

Vedana (cheerfully). Voila!

Nyura looks at the handkerchief and her friends with suspicion. He takes his handkerchief off his head, unfolds it, tries it on next to him. One to one. There is a dumb, not quite literary question in her eyes!

Nyura (with suspicion and misunderstanding). Are you kidding me?

Agnes (positively). No way! We just thought about this. It's your favorite handkerchief. It gets stuck, gets stuck… And then once, and the new one is the same. What's it like?

Vedana (cheerfully, Nyure). Is it sensible, tell me?

Nyura (not too happily). Girls, yes, I will not live to see the time when my favorite handkerchief is worn and faded. But thanks anyway. There will be something to plug the gap in the window. (Accepts the gift, casually crumples it) And then it slipped yesterday. (Bends in the back). The back does not bend at all!

Vedana (cheerfully, Nyure). If you live, you'll live. Just in this case, keep another present from me personally!

Vedana takes gifts from her bag, passes them to Nyura and explains.

Vedana (cheerfully, Nyure, explaining what she gives). These are pressure pills. Here you go, this is a widely used painkiller. This is valerian. Well, this sweet thing is ascorbic acid! Vitamins!

Nyura (not too happily, accepting gifts). Yes… You don't want to live with such friends, and they won't let you die. Thank you. Sit down already, there is no truth in the legs.

Agnes (sitting down on the bench next to her). Oh, no, Nyurka, that's right. There is no truth in the legs.

Vedana (sitting down next to him on a bench). And where will you find this truth now? She's nowhere to be found. You won't find it in the daytime with fire!

Nyura (judiciously, to Agnes, pointing to Vedana). And that's right! Vedana speaks the truth! Not to find the truth today.

Agnes (nodding, shaking her head). Not to find…

Nyura (nodding, shaking his head). Not to find…

Vedana (nodding, shaking his head). Not to find…

everything. The topics for discussion are exhausted. Friends are eagerly looking for at least some reason to discuss something with their eyes. For their luck, Yulka passes by. A young girl is a neighbor. He carries a bag of garbage in his hand. Dressed provocatively, brightly, as befits young beautiful ambitious girls.

Yulka is nervously talking on the phone, does not notice the old ladies sitting on the bench in the confusion.