Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения
Шрифт:
The second one (второй) said, "But we're on the 13th floor! (но мы на 13-м этаже)"
The first one screamed back (прокричал в ответ), "This is no time to be superstitious (нет времени быть суеверными)."
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."
This is no time to be superstitious!
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations (клиент
The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs (ну, этот мозг доктора философии /Ph.D. — Doctor of philosophy/ стоит) $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist (этот мозг принадлежал главному ученому НАСА: Национального управления по аэронавтике и исследованию космического пространства) and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000 (здесь у нас также есть мозг полицейского. Он стоит 50.000)."
The client asked, "What? How's that possible? (Что? Как это "возможно" = может быть)"
The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused (вы видите, он абсолютно не использован)."
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000."
The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"
The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
What? How's that possible?
John was driving when a policeman pulled him over (Джон вел машину, когда полицейский его остановил). He rolled down his window and said to the officer (он опустил стекло и сказал офицеру), "Is there a problem, Officer? (какая-то проблема, офицер)"
"No problem at all (абсолютно никаких проблем). I just observed your safe driving (я просто наблюдал за вашим безопасным (осторожным) вождением) and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award (и рад наградить вас Премией за безопасное вождение в 5000 долларов). Congratulations (поздравляю). What do you think you're going to do with the money? (что вы думаете делать с деньгами)"
John thought for a minute (подумал минутку) and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that driver's license (ну, я думаю, я пойду получу /все же/ водительские права)."
John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that driver's license."
Is there a problem?
What do you think you're going to do with the money?
Well, I guess I'll get the driver's license.
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car (блондинка позвонила в полицию заявить, что воры побывали в ее машине). "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator (они украли приборную доску, руль /to steer — управлять/, педаль тормоза, даже акселератор /to steal-stole-stolen/)," she cried out (выкрикнула).
However (однако), before the police investigation could start (перед тем, как полицейское расследование могло начаться), the phone rang a second time (телефон зазвонил второй раз /to ring-rang-rung/) and the same voice (и тот же голос) came over the line (появился на линии). "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake (забудьте, не обращайте внимания; never — никогда; to mind — помнить, заботиться; the mind - разум; я села на заднее сиденье по ошибке)."
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
Never mind.
I did that by mistake.
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time (полицейский замечает женщину, ведущую машину и вяжущую одновременно; spot — точка; to spot — определять, замечать). Driving up beside her (подъехав к ней), he shouts out the window… (он кричит из окна) "Pull over! (остановитесь — здесь игра слов: остановиться — пуловер; to pull over — остановиться /на обочине/; натягивать /например, свитер, пуловер/)"
"No," she shouts back (она кричит в ответ), "a pair of socks! (пара носков)"
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window… "Pull over!"
"No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
Police Chief (начальник полиции): As a recruit (как новичок), you'll be faced with some difficult issues (вы встретитесь с некоторыми трудными вопросами). What would you do if you had to arrest your mother? (чтобы вы сделали, если бы вы должны были арестовать вашу мать)
New Recruit: Call for backup! (вызвал бы подкрепление)
Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup!
You'll be faced with some difficult issues.
Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost (пятилетний Крошка Джонни потерялся), so he went up to a policeman and said (он подошел к полицейскому и сказал),